Thank you to all my fans in Rochester at Cafe Veritas. I never thought I’d sell that many CDs again at a single show. You made a real difference for me and my family.
Hey, Mom. I love you, but you probably don’t want to read this.
I grew up in a very proscriptive love culture. Everyone was supposed to be heterosexual, wait until they got married to have any physical intimacy, and then stay married until one of them died. Many old couples wore their misery like a badge of honor. Some of them, mostly men, had extramarital sex to cope with the loneliness.
When I was in high school, a friend of mine took me to the Miss North Carolina Drag competition at The Power Company. I had no idea what any of it was, but I knew it had to be more fun than hanging out at my mom’s house in the country. By the way, I was 17 and did not have a fake ID. In the ‘80s, teenagers could just go to a venue and watch a show- even a drag show.
It was as fabulous as it sounds. All the greats were there — Madonna, Cher, Marilyn, Donna Summer. It blew my country boy mind, and I remember thinking, “There really is a place for everyone.” It gave me hope that I would find my place, too.
Mom, if you’re still reading, I warned you.
That night, I saw a friend of mine from school. I walked over and said hello. He said, “I didn’t know you were gay.”
I said, “I’m not.”
He never spoke to me again.
So, the second thing I learned that night was that I could belong almost anywhere, but not everyone can. He wanted to love and be loved, and people hated him for wanting what they, too, wanted. I think about it often. That night still gives me hope and makes me mad at the same time. Imagine everyone free to love.
That’s the gift I wish I could give you this Valentine’s Day — the freedom of love that doesn’t have to last forever, and doesn’t have to make your mother happy. I hope it makes you happy. I hope you find the place where you belong. I hope you follow Mary Oliver’s advice and “… let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
Happy Valentine’s Day. Your fan,
Jonathan Byrd
I’m leading two tours of Scotland this July. Sign up soon!
July 3-13 Focus on Scotland, a photographic tour of one of the most beautiful countries I know. We’ll go to locations that I don’t even know yet because we are protecting the landscape from human traffic. Traceless Tours is a conservation tour company, bringing money to the local economy and helping heal the wild spaces. We’ll leave it better than we found it. Reserve your spot here:
https://www.tracelesstours.com/photography-tour-with-jonathan
July 15-25 Music tour! Ten days of breathtaking scenery, castles, museums and ancient historical sites during the day and live music at night, including some special private concerts.
https://www.tracelesstours.com/music-tour-jonathan
Hopeful Romantic